WHEN WE MAKE REALLY DUMB DECISIONS

It's easy to point out and mock the insane decisions other people make and to lambast away at how horrible their actions were and the consequences they deserve. Then we piously rant about the right thing they should have done. In our minds, it's all well deserved. But inevitably, the Spirit begins to work in our own hearts and we can't help but look at ourselves, remembering the times when we also did something really stupid. So stupid that the regrets continue to haunt us, even at the most inappropriate random moments. Decisions that seemed so far out of the character from what we've esteemed for ourselves; leaving us shaking our heads and murmuring in disappointment to ourselves, "I'm such an idiot! How can I blow it like that?" If only we could have that moment back again in order to make the right decision. 

So, what do we do when we've done something we regret? When we have just plain blown it? We have a variety of choices to make afterwards. These choices make us better or worse:

OUR CHOICES - 

Deny it. 

We can just move on and pretend it never happened; stuffing it inside and hoping the painful feelings and probable consequences just goes away. But scripture reveals to us that stuffing our sin will only cause further damage,

"When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer." Psalm 32:3-4

We can also deny it to others, since we have already lied to ourselves. But there are two cosmic realities that we must come to terms with:

"Be sure your sin will find you out." Numbers 32:23
"Do not be deceived. God will not be made a fool. For a person will reap what he sows." Galatians 6:7

Justify it. 

We can try to rationalize it and convince ourselves that what we've done is not that bad or else we can alleviate the guilt by shifting the blame and put in our minds that it is someone else's fault. Then we can manipulate others that it isn't nor ever was our problem. But, the fact is, our sin is never justifiable. 

"But Jesus said to them, 'You are the ones who justify yourselves in men’s eyes, but God knows your hearts. For what is highly prized among men is utterly detestable in God’s sight.'" Luke 16:15

Run from it. 

If only we can stay so busy by going somewhere else in our minds or physical location that it will keep us away from the personal pain we feel over what we have caused. Humanity has tried this trick from the very beginning. Adam and Eve attempted to hide after they first sinned against the Lord, but that didn't work out so well. We can run, but we can't hide. 

"There is no darkness, and no deep darkness, where evildoers can hide themselves." Job 34:22 

King David explains to us what it is like to try and run from what he had done -

"My sin is always before me." Psalm 51:3

Try to make up for it. 

We believe that if we work hard at doing good things it will outweigh all the wrong we have done. The problem is that we can never make up for our sin, against God nor others. The cost is far beyond what we can ever pay. Our good deeds will never cover up bad deeds. God simply won't accept it.

"Certainly You do not want a sacrifice, or else I would offer it; You do not desire a burnt sacrifice." Psalm 51:16

Each of these options, no matter how well intentioned, are replete with both internal and external disaster. All are unacceptable before our Holy God. This is the only true and healthy choice. A choice that will change everything. 

GO TO GOD WITH IT. 

What does that look like? 

Confess. 

We are to confess to God first and foremost. He is the one you have sinned against. 

"But if we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, forgiving us our sins and cleansing us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

To confess means "to agree, to say the same thing." We are to say the same thing about our sin that God would say. "It was wrong. No excuses. I need Your mercy." It also agrees, "I am completely forgiven by God by faith." Psalm 51 is a perfect example of a godly man who really blew it, (adultery and murder, as a leader of God's people), and then fessed up before the Lord. 

Then we confess to those we have directly hurt. "I was wrong. I feel horrible for ... ( be specific as to what you did wrong). Next time I will ... and will not ...  Will you forgive me? How can I make up for what I've done to you?"

Finally, confess to someone who can hold you accountable.

"So confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great effectiveness." James 5:16

We can't do it alone because the Lord never intended for us to do so. 

Repent. 
This classic, old school Christian word just means to turn around, to do a 180. Turn from your sin and turn towards God. Make a decision to hate your sin and to love the Lord. 

"Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first." Revelations 2:5

Also four more times in Revelation the Lord tells His people to repent. 

Part of repentance is also renouncing sin. Declaring that the sin will no longer have a part in your life. 

"Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God." 2 Corinthians 4:2

Mourn. 
This isn't very accepted in our "be positive" world today, even among Christians. But it is biblical.   The following scriptures speaks specifically of mourning over sin. 

"Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4 

"A broken and contrite heart You will not despise." Psalm 51:17

"... weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5

Allow yourself to hurt deeply over what you have done. Sin hurts. Too often, many just sweep everything under the carpet and move on without ever walking through with the Lord all that transpired. It means pulling aside and taking the time to pour out your heart to Him, expressing your sorrow, sitting before Him and talking through what has happened, what could have happened and what will happen. Allowing the conviction of the Spirit to work His full and healing effect in you.

"Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." 2 Corinthians 7:10

Godly sorrow means going to Him with your sorrow. Worldly sorrow means to turn from Him and go elsewhere with your sorrow. 

Get help from others. 
Seek out those who have wisdom in the area where you have difficulty. 

Also find accountability with others. Notice clearly the last part of this admonition in turning from sin:

“But keep away from youthful passions, and pursue righteousness, faithfulness, love, and peace, in company with others who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” 2 Timothy 2:22

Accept the consequences. 
This is perhaps the most difficult part of surrendering all to the Lord. Consequences will happen anyway. A hard reality is that being forgiven doesn't mean there won't be earthly consequences. But those are all part of Your Father's loving discipline and correction, not punishment. Read and let His words fill and encourage you:

"“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastens everyone He accepts as His son.” Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as His children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:5-11

Make amends. 
You can't make amends to God. He has done it for you. But you can and should make things right with others. Ask the ones you hurt how you can make things right with them, even if you were only partially in the wrong. Here is a great article on what scriptures says about making things right - https://www.gotquestions.org/restitution-Bible.html

There may be times when your offer will be rejected but understand that you don't deserve to be forgiven by them anyway. Love them and remind yourself that that the One who matters most has forgiven you. 

Learn. 
Allow the Lord to show you the lessons of life that come as a result of this sin. Remember what it feels like and what the consequences were or could have been. Write down what you would have and will do differently. Then live according to those lessons the Holy Spirit has shown you. 

There will come a day when you will be called upon by the Lord to share those lessons with others. Memorize scripture that deals specifically with that area of life where you want to change, so that the Spirit will bring those to heart when needed. Hear the words of King David after he repented, 

"Let me again experience the joy of Your deliverance Sustain me by giving me the desire to obey! Then I will teach rebels Your merciful ways and sinners will turn to You." Psalm 51:12-13

Get back in the race. 
When you stumble and fall, get back up, set your eyes on the finish line and run even more intently. 

"Although a righteous person may fall seven times, he gets up again," Proverbs 24:16

" ... we must get rid of every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and run with endurance the race set out for us, keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith." Hebrews 12:1-2

If the Lord wanted you out of the race then He'd pull you out; meaning He'd take you home now to Heaven. That mere fact that you are alive today means you are still useful to Him and He still has work for you to do. 

There is always hope for those who turn to Christ, even those we consider the most vile - including ourselves.